Notes from Phineas Screed, PhD, editor of The Faux Review: Failed attempt to appeal to my humanity. I don’t like reminders of my humiliation.

This is the only piece of unsolicited writing advice I’ll ever offer: Don’t join the Rip Van Winkle Club. Our current roster includes all the wannabe authors like me who you’ve never heard of—and most of us don’t even realize we’re card-carrying members. Once you join, it’s difficult to leave.